Growing Kids God's Way

Brendan and I have started this class that our friends Jennie and Pat are teaching based on the series of books that begin with Babywise. We are such big believers in what Babywise teaches and how well it worked for Wright, that we thought this class would be good for us too. It focuses on pre-toddlers (12-18 months) and addresses all of the things that we will face during this time. But the biggest overarching purpose is to raise kids that love the Lord and bring glory to Him

We have already been dealing with some of the typical stuff that kids do at this age and have learned that it mostly all seems to stem from frustration. So, we have been implementing some new techniques and so far they are working great. Here are some things we are now doing...

1. Independent Time - we have always let Wright play alone in his playroom so he is used to entertaining himself, but we have never made sure that he is not just aimlessly amusing himself vs. actually learning and playing with purpose. Amusement is fine but just not ALL the time, so we have started doing 25 minutes in his crib with just a few toys each morning. So far it has been working great and it gives me time to get ready for the day while he is occupied. Today he fussed a little bit after about 10 minutes and just when I thought that I should probably go get him, I peeked in and he was contendedly flipping through one of his books. Not only is this helpful and convenient for me, but the long-term benefit is that Wright will be able to entertain himself and work on his own.

2. Mealtime Manners - we have been having big problems with Wright throwing fits in his high chair while waiting for his food. Yesterday it was so bad that I had to literally hold him to calm him down and begin feeding him in my arms. Clearly this is not an acceptable long-term solution. So, last night we got some good tips from our group and implemented them today. The one that worked best was to remove Wright from his high chair and put him in his crib alone for a few minutes as soon as he started screaming. Pat said to me last night "It's not like he is going to starve to death and he needs to know that screaming for his food is not allowed." So we did that this morning, and when I brought him back to his chair, he was much calmer and sat and waited for his food happily eating cheerios. Although I felt like the meanest mom ever, I saw immediately the benefits of removing him when he began to get out of control. At lunch, he started to cry and I quickly said "We do not cry, we wait patiently for our food." and he seemed to calm down and "listen" to me...so we'll see how this pans out. I also started giving him smaller portions and making him ask for "more" instead of just piling all the food on his tray. This has greatly helped with the throwing of the food and cup, feeding the dog, etc.

3. Signing - we have sparatically used signing with Wright since he was about 8 months old, but we have never really enforced it. Like everything else, it is not going to be successful without consistency, so we are now working on signing much more frequently and moving his hands to sign if he does not know the motion yet. This has helped at mealtime too with "please", "more", "thank you" and "finished". He is not at the point where he can completely do them all yet, but he is getting much better. And most importantly it helps him be less frustrated.

4. Talking to him - obviously I have always talked to Wright but I think overall I have been understimating what he understands. As a result, instead of asking him to do things or telling him no and why not, I have just sort of let him get away with a lot. One of my goals is to really work on talking to him more and explaining things better. This will take more time and will not be as easy as me just doing it, but of course will be better in the long run.

After we master all of these things (if that ever happens), we are going to work on blanket time. Just don't have that in me yet...