Spencer Update 1/15

Not much has changed this week with little Spencer. He is supposed to be eating 55 ml every feeding and he is eating an average of 20 ml from the nipple. He is allowed to try anywhere from 2-4 nipple feeds a day. A typical day consists of me nursing him at 10:30am and 7:30pm and the nurse giving him 1-2 bottles during the night. Anything he does not eat from me or the bottle they give him through his gavage (tube in his nose). He seems to have the mechanics down (wide awake, rooting, sucking, etc) but he just does not have the stamina or maturity to finish. According to every dr and nurse, one day a light bulb will just go off and he will figure it all out. In the meantime, it is very frusterating to go in there every day feeling like he is not making progress. I am such a numbers person that if he takes 20 ml one day, I want him to take 25 ml the next day. Unfortunately, I have had to learn that premature babies do not follow these patterns. Instead every day is a roller coaster. From the beginning they have told us to expect his due date of February 1 for when he will be out of there. We both thought that was so far away, there was NO way it would be that long. Now, we are thinking his due date would be a best case scenario. The nurse told us today that once he takes 6 full nipple feeds, expect he will be home in about a week. Since he is not even finishing one full now, this seems like an insurmountable task. Our prayers continue to be that something will click soon and he will surprise us all.
On another note, Wright is doing very well being juggled between so many different people. But he has definitely become very clingy to mommy when he is home. He has regressed in a lot of ways asking strange things like to be rocked by me and to lay in our bed. He also likes to grab my hand and drag me around with him. These are all things he has never done before, so I know he is feeling a little uneasy about all that is going on. This is of course difficult for me because I feel guilty leaving him but also feel guilty not being with Spencer. Just challenging to be pulled in so many directions.